I was still thinking twice whether I should update coz I was seriously reluctant.But I kinda promised Bryan(my cg member) tat ill update today.And He was saying He will be visiting my blog daily.Oh dear ! means maybe ill be blogging more cause of him .Simply because I love my caregroup members:P


Anyways, My life is still as messy as it is.And it never seems to get better.And there are like, so many problems.In the area of my family life.I prefer telling it to my closies.I think I did tell to some of them but I dun mind sharing to guys.


about a month ago, my parents were arguing over a issue.In the end my dad told my mum, "I want u and your two youngest son,to leave my house by end of deepavali" I was laughing awhile because of the event deepavali.But wasnt really funny when he said it. Actually, though we may live in the same house, my family r not really a family.They seemed to hate every1 and their love seems 2 be selfish love.I really hate staying at home.I wished, if I had a secured job , I would prefer staying at some brother house and dun mind paying him rental fees .Anyways, My dad asked me to leave HIS house when I come of the age of 21.And My dad always cursed me regularly to go and jump down from building and die so that he could save money feeding me.And also keep repeating that " I made two biggest mistakes in my life.One,I regretted marrying your mum.Second, is to bring you guys into this world" Seriously.As if he gave us a good life -.-'' I rather not be born lor.And this is only one small thing that happen recently.I've been enduring this sort of rubbish regularly in my family for so many years..My mum sort of 'gossiping' abt me right infront of my face.She was telling to her friend on the phone while i was sitting beside her, " I hate staying at home.Every1 at home always give me problems and heart pain.How I wish I one day just died.Cant they understand Im working for them?See the oldest son(my older brother).He small small thing will get angry.So hot tempered person.Even want to beat his own father and me.You see the 2nd son(me). laziest person in the world.So lazy that no1 can depend on him.the other two sons? the r the WORST! small little devils.Smoke here and promise me wont smoke anymore still smoke.den got what? still got lover so more.DEVILS!"


I forgetten the rest. I couldnt go on listening so I went to my com and started to depend on God. I was thinking what song can cheer me up.And it is currently the first track been played.I wasnt going to allow my emotions to take over me.I seriously feel like defending myself and shouting at her because simply because SATHYA HATES TO BE ACCUSED but she was a female afterall.Could tell that she was overstressed from my brothers's lifes on her and just wanted 2 release burden and seek 'attention' from her friend.She maybe wanted to look innocent in her friend's sight and also include me in. -.-'' .Just by looking at her I could understand her.But I guess its okay den.No1 really understands me except Jesus.Thats why I depend on God alot.I hear him so real and closely to my heart everyday. And when she said I was lazy, just like 5 minutes ago be4 she talked to her friend, I came back from shop buying her the stuff she asked me to buy.Its like ... so stupid right? But brothers and sisters, Im not emoing. Im not really. And neither do I post for you 2 pity me or feel sad for me.I really really REALLY thank God he gave me soooooooooooooo mannnnnnnnnnnnnny problems in my life.Coz i've been praying for more than a year daily that "God! please give me soooooooooo many problems in my life that I should depend on You more and more" Crazy? yes Sathya is crazy for God.Sathya wants to love God more and more each day.If u feel like you want to do something for me,pray over me a sincere prayer will do. The only thing I ask is pray for me daily and tell me once u prayed for me that God be greater and I be lesser in my life.


Maybe your problems could be smaller or bigger.Could be relationship problem such as family or friends.Or could be a issue at school which is beyond ur control.But regardless of the size,always ALWAYS trust God.God allow problems 2 come into ur life so that you can witness miracles in your life so that you will be able 2 love God more and trust Him.Tell me,Who would need God when their life is so smooth sailing?How will God be seen real if God removed the problems in our life?Can we pray for healing when theres no sickness?Can we ask God to answer our prayers when theres nothing we lack in?How can God show u miracles in things beyond your control if everything is always in your control?I believe that some of what i spoken of is last week teaching but I knew this like 1-2 years ago.But I thank God , God encouraged me with last week sermon once again :P


Right now, I really need alot of perservering spirit.And the only role model I have in this area is Jessilia.She like never once read my blog but I watched her how she received Christ for the first time till now.When She was a newbeliever,She always seems 2 share that she perservered this and that.And when She and I were CLs about two years ago, she always tell ppl,such as me 2 perservere on.I thank God for her for her life testimony.It makes me wanna perservere on as well.And she still encourages me. Thx alot! :P


So for the more intimate part of me,I leave that to God only :P coz theres sumthings i still putting locks on.*Sorry!*I thank God that He gave me Spiritual Gifts.Such as Gift of Discernment. This Gift Rocks! but is scary sometimes to know ppl's secrets,struggles,issues or problems in life.LOL !


Sherry was sharing to me that She want to be a pastor.Den suddenly I was dreaming abt her ( not in that kind of way). But as a pastor. God envisioned me 2 share somethings to her.I did.And if you want know abt it go read Sherry's blog! She promised she wont give up! so sherry , Its a promise k? :P

And I really thank God for today.God has brought back my 'first love' thru today's even due to Zk's leadership.No words can ever express how thankful I am but overall, ty :P

A few encouraging verses from u guys 2 chew on :P

("Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God. "Matthew 4:4)

"If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him." James 1:5

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." 1 Corinthians 10:13

“I will never fail you.I will never abandon you.” Hebrews 13:5c (New Living Translation)

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

"And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. "Romans 8:28

"I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you. "Matthew 17:20

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline." 2 Timothy 1:7

"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. "Psalm 23:4

"Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD. "Psalm 27:14

"And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work." 2 Corinthians 9:8

"I can do everything through him who gives me strength. "Philippians 4:13

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. "Proverbs 3:5-6

"...but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. "Isaiah 40:31

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. " 2 Corinthians 12:9

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. "Matthew 11:28-30

"God will make a way alright? Sathya ... JIAYOU!"