currently 3am and i took 2hrs 2 blogs surf,mass tagging and insert a few links ... and i seriously learnt alot and am encouarged by alot of ppl's blog .... i've seen how they have grown , and how they didnt ... went enough of chity chaty ... ill get down 2 the point
todae is my 4th day of work! ... so far i've earned $130 bucks around tere? super hardwork and boring ... i feel going work is a waste of time .... i rather spend time wif God or just play guitar ... zZZZZzz ... btw my job is called STEWARDING ... its even a higher class of so called 'dish cleaner' ... when i told one of my sheeps he quickly reacted " hey tts a beggar job leh...u seriously doing it?" .................................................... who r we 2 judge!!!!!!!! ............. anyways im secure ... say watever u all want ... its $6 a hr anyways and its a hotel ... its kinda good 2 work tere .... food provided ... and their food higher class than food court one leh! ... the drink extremely cold! can choose one! coke ice lemon tee spite 100+ and many more lar ... including coffee lacte milo etc .... it was good overall ... tis 5days of work im fetching $200 bucks ... getting a new guitar and amp during nov i guess ... i still owe sum1 a card and a birthday gift ... awe! gonna cost me ... also owe ppl money ...
well today is the 3rd day im evaxing ... and seriously i only got 2 super responsive ... is want 2 come but cannot ... aiya ... need time one ... 3days 2 ppl? argh ... i now den realised i went 2 late ... shall wake up earlier tomorrow 2 evax even more ... im super discontented wif my results ....
well ... im seriously utterly disppointed wif myself ...... after 1 year ... 2 person came 2 Christ ... how pathetic am I ...i dun need pity ... i dun need "oh ... u did ur best" , "God has His plans" .... i was hitted by God real hard as i went 2 work todae ... i suddenly was reminded "after 1 year already and so little growth ... wat was i doing all along?" i think i work hard in evaxing harder than any1 ... but i was lacking behind was simple faith,obedience and faithfulness .... faith 2 pray and ask , obedience 2 do wat God immediately commanded , faithfulness wif little little things such as my private life ........................... aRGH!!! i feel so wasted away .... but i cant allow tis 2 happen tomorrow ... later im gonna pray really long for a breakthru for tomorrow's evaxing! ... IF NO VISITOR I AM A TERRIBLE SINNER!!!!!!!!!!!! NO SUCH THING AS NO1 2 BE SAVED!!!!!!! NO SUCH THHHHHHHHHHHHHHINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BGR doesnt affect me ... seriously ... i can live alone my whole life ... i already was alone and had no1 be4 i knew God ... though sumtimes desire may sprout ... it wont be gone in a cliche ... looks only seems mere eye-pleasing ... but tats not what im looking for .... sum1 ... just sum1 if can help me grow 10times faster and better ... ur the one ....... gift of celebacy isnt a joke for me ... i dun mind ... i got God ,i dun need 2 get married ...... its up 2 God whether God wants me 2 find a partner ... till den im not bother wif such things foolish Satan
God? do u love me ? if u do ... please do anything 2 me or happen 2 me so tat i can grow! i desire 2 grow because i want 2 be just like You ... i dun wanna be emo .... God i love u ... u noe tat full well ... where U go ... ill ran tere just 2 hear ur voice! help me help me help me!