Sunday, September 23, 2007
Growing up and old
i really thank Pastor jeff once again for his ever heart-piercing teaching ..... sometimes i prefer Shirley or other preachers because pastor jeff too many jokes ... i dunno why lar though i noe i enjoy it i prefer shirley or other preachers than pastor jeff ... but the attitude is wrong ... but learn from any teaching from any1 as long its the Word of God... i prefer more serious teaching lolx! im weird ... or growing old ...and even non-believing friends will teach us some bibically value ..... yup yup :P
i sure met lots of christian posers and i have 2 admit ... i used to me one of them ..... they try show ppl their spiritually through blogs,talks and actions or in anyways they can but spirituality is something between you and God ... why hide it? why act it? if we win the favor of men but not God,wat is the gain for us?being a shepherd or a Careleader or watever leader u maybe ... doesnt show how spiritual u r .... r u telling me become pastor means very spiritual?if im not a shepherd means im not spiritual? why judge wif human judgement? stop judging wif men standard but God's standard ..... i really believe i got no1 but my ppl ... i hope i didnt hurt any1 nor discouraged any1 ... tat was never my intention ... if i can be a better person ... tell me! i wanna change for the better ... dun like like the way i talk,dress,speak,behave? just let me know ... dun tell me something i dun need 2 know or hear ... just say something that im sure that ur sure ... dun covered ur lies and heart motive wif other things which arent impt ... i tell u the truth ... why hide from me? chances of hiding from me ill still know ... and if i dunno God WILL NOE! and if sumthing bad happens ... dun blame God but urself ... God will punish the evil doers ... stop sinning
drained,tired,sucked ..... i dropping dead ... see yaz !
God ..... i really cant control myself sometimes ...my emotions,my feelings.my thoughts,my actions .... but im trying 2 give U control most of them time but i failed ..... im really a insecure being ... God i wannt place my security in You ... its not easy ..... i feel my youth is ... slowly and little by little draining out ... many things r not going according to Your Will and jealousy sips in, oh ... so many testings ... God ur testing me whether ill still run to you though im dry ..... nth else matters but You ............ i really got no1 2 complain except 2 u hahaz ..... i prefer writing 2 u ... i want 2 grow ... my heart is deceitful .... i dun wanna follow my heart AT ALL!!! i want follow urs! i cant stand myself ... my sinful nature , its draining and sucking the life out of me ..... each day only a question will stay in my mind and heart "what can i do to please Jesus?" ... God ... help me make my body my slave! my mind is strong but my body is weak ... not feelings 2 good or shabby though hahaz ... smiles is all i see .... but wats beyond tat? no1 is ever tat happy all the time ... tere r sure 2 be down times but where will i stand? ... most of all ... where do U want me 2 stand? ......... haiz ... todae attendence really make me feel so down .... but my heart was trained 2 think abt u ... focusing on u .... u really taught me a great lesson ... im serving U nt my ppl ...... God ... i cant stand all tis envy and jealousy .... i cant stand being sum1 im not ... putting a fake mask? am i escaping from reality? why me ... i hope i get a answer from U later :P .... and God im sorry .... tis ppl r flirting wif me ... i avoid them k? hehez :P .... who do i have.............................................?
12:32 AM
I never will leave You ~
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