Sunday, June 24, 2007
i just wanna break down awhile (complaining to God plz ignore me)
just back after M.S.N(Men Spiritual Night) ... i learnt ALOT!!! ALOT!!! 2 become more like a man ... haha it was fun bah but i feel ... something is still missing there ... oh yea .... the same old members ... and a few brothers wasnt tere ... kinda pathethic ... not the ppl but the number ... tt is for me... i wanna see brothers growing man ...... God use me 2 reach out 2 ur sheeps lord ... understand me ...
God .. i cant stand it .. during the informal teaching by dewen ... i think he said was true ... but den again ...... i realise ...... i was the most sensitive and so called weak-hearted for ppl tere ... im more of a people-oriented kind ... ppl ppl ppl is all i think ... not much of myself ... den why do i do the things i do which does not benefit me tat much or at all? argh ...................... im both .... im can be strong ... but i will feel weak ...... i can keep focus ... but can be easily distracted ... i can .. i can .... argh? wats tis feeling of emptiness? a sheep's pain ? or a test? GOd WHERE R U?! hiding from me? u want me 2 come 2 u ..... childish me .... how can i hate Satan? i rather love u more than hate him more ....... because even hating sin will lead me into more sin .... such as grudges,hostality ... and more of his traits ...... haiz ... am i seeking for attention? affirmation from ppl? what does tis all matter 2 me? wat is it? words can kill at the same time it can save .... God said "let tere be light" and tere was light .. see the importance in speech? haiz ... i think i emo 2 much ... skools coming .... my greatest weakness now is ..... studies ... how can i survive? will i be judge as a ill-faith person? or a lazy or wicked servant? dun i have the desire? and den ... is the outer ... isnt the world enuff pain on me ? God ... God ... god ... i .... love you ....... u noe tat well ... now i noe wats the feeling now ... the people's pain ... Ur pain for them .... many r still 2 be saved ... oh God ... dun be sad lord ... ill give my best :P ill jiayou :P i want hold ur hand and run wif u :P haha im here ... use me in everyway u can in every area u can in anyway u want :P im urs :P as u r mine ... heres my heart ... i dunno myself .... u noe me full well ... den .... why not u do wats best for me and the ppl? i wanna stop the unnecessary rubbish ... no time for tat ... argh ... i hate myself for being lazy sumtimes ... no no no no! move on lets work hard k ? love ya LoRtS *HEHEHE
weeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE :P :P :P :P :P :P :) :) :) :) :) (: (: (: (: (: (:
if i dun said tis ... den the person gonna kill me !!!
just wanna say CG08 ... im still on fire for 15!!! the wsss ppl! lets do it! jess ! do it wif them ! my sheeps ! do it wif me !!! haha just wanna say weixian! jiayou k? ur skool can be won for Jesus one .... just be faithful ... pray hard work hard study hard ... u r a christian who happen 2 be a student :P jiayou! GROW GROW!!! let see a CG established in ur skool k? jiayou!
PRAISE GOD MAN!!!! PRAISE GOD INDEED!!! say congrats 2 my newest sheep .... GLENN!!!! well his named sound like lan but plus the g lar ... lol so tis glenn!!! hes from greenridge and hes sec1!!! and hes hyper abt GOD!!! let me share real quick .... i shared 2 him my life testimony!!! u noe .... my SOW was strong .... really ... but u noe sumthing ? we dun click ... means we cannot talk abt anything so u noe wat i did? i give him my views and opinions and he gives his ... and i tell ya ... we always the opposite one.... we dun click at all! he doesnt really like wat i talk and the way i behave is so ... urgh ... tiring ...... anyways it was so hard 2 get closer 2 him but we do over the phone ... for 2 days and each hr each day .. so we talked abt 2hrs abt our lifes .... den ytd when he was about 2 enter Nexus ... he said" hey i feel nervous and scared leh.i feel like there r butterflies in my stomache ... i said " dun worri just come ... just enjoy urself " so he still was like trembling until we reach inside and it was praise and worship already ... after the first song he told me "wah! i didnt noe church was so kool and fun!" .... den after the whole thing plus the teaching he siad he wants 2 accept Christ into his life!!! amen to tat!!! haha!! den after tat we walk past the mini church store... den he said "i wanna buy a bible" den he had no money so i buy for him lor!!! :P i feel so good doing good ... though i had not much i gave as much as i could give... :P ... anyways later he keep telling me "wow ... i didnt noe church was so fun!" so i told him "yea church very fun one ... yea u invite ur friends also" he said "i MUST bring them here man ... nxt week" woo!!! haha hyper active guy yet i was still unfaithful .... argh!! enuff! stop ... shall not be ... er... emoing anymore ... becoming more like a realy man :P
6:07 PM
I never will leave You ~
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