Friday, June 29, 2007
hiTTing gOAl
Dear brothers and sisters ... wat more can i say tat im super duper extremely terribly am discouraged till to tears ... i really worked hard tis whole week ... i stay as holy as possible ... as much faithfulness i can ... i dunno whether i got the right 2 said but i really giving my all as if im gonna die the following week .... i evax evax evax outreach outreach outreach pray pray pray encourage encourage stay as pure as i could ......... i really poured my blood ..... and and ... is it my fault tat i didnt hit goal ? is tis my goal alone or my group goal ? i can really tell the truth i really give as much as i could ... liang jie did give what he could ... but the rest? what excuse is tere 2 be given ? the group didnt grow because is it i didnt grow them or they dun want 2 be grown? what is it? is it me? if my whole group really gave their best tis 10 would piece be super possible ... but i can say is up to God ... but i can clearly see myself tat not all gave their best ... oh God ... im pretty much sad till my tears cant express tis pain ... my hardwork ... my goal .. my group most importantly .... yup ... i went around asking ppl "u hit goal? u hit goal?" most is 'yes' or 'break beyond it' .... well honestly speaking ... tat didnt help haha ..... but den again i reflected upon myself ... why am i so .... care about the house of God instead of the God of house of God ? isnt given my best making God happy enuff? why do i care the results? i really heck liao ... if the group is healthy it will grow .. if its not it wont ... what am i gonna 2 do den? remain faithful .... working and giving my best and the rest is really up 2 God ... im super burdened man ... God ... i dun wanna feel discouraged ... im happy tat ... i gave my best :P i noe ur smiling 2 my best :P if i dun noe ur smiling den i dunno u at all ...
haiz .... many ppl keep telling i very popular or famous or sumthing ... argh ... SO WAT??? i feel tis of no value 2 me ... i dun even care whether im famous or wat ... its true ... though got alot of friends ... i dun have not even 1 super deep friend 2 share my feelings or whatso ever ... God is my only one i talk 2 ..... im super dependable on God ... no God = no Sathya ... without God ill die ... enough emoing leh... man must control .......
anyways i suddenly start loving dogs leh ... i think if i want rite ... i wanna take a dog as my wife :P LOL i really love dogs man!!!!
just being random ... thx!
the one i like still always tere for me ... God ... will it last bah?
hope no1 ps tomorrow ... tis goal is urs ... tis number is urs... tis group is urs ... tis sathya is always urs
11:59 PM
I never will leave You ~
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