Thursday, March 08, 2007
Wanting afirmation?
as i was doing my life as per normal ... den again ...but worst... problems came into me again ...den i ask GOd "again?y?what i do?y me?" three things i was reminded... 1.God is unfair but just 2.its testing from God 3.consequences of last time or current sins we are always falling and unrepented sin...so guess which am i in? im not telling U!!!
anyways thats for that ... as my father pulled out my telephone wire and hid it ...i am not able 2 call my people or any1 ... so i thought of going 2 the nearest believer house n ask him whether can use his telephone....den i thinking "hey...doing tis really takes alot of initiative...wow...i feel good inside...i want feel 'appreciated' for what i have done" is tis sometimes how we feel? is the the reason y sometimes we dun take the extra mile 2 do stuff? ...gosh...i certainly felt that way ... coz God says that by seeking affirmation for what we have done....tts is our reward for doing such things...n its temperory 'honour'...why do we do things that last for awhile ? if the things im doing is temperory... i rather not do...but i see a eternal gain in it ...so let ask be affirm by God :) ...i usually doing such things ill will secretly talk 2 myself "God...u see i do...all i do for u leh...better bless me hor" (yup im real open wif God) bleagh .....
Well... studying really sucks...n i learn another about being focus on the value not the feeling....hmmmm i really dunno how 2 say but ill share n explain
For me i really hate studying.... each time i turn a page...i feel like taking a javelin and end my life real quick...tts how much i hate studying ...but y do i hate study? that i dunno y ...maybe im lazy?or its not my interest ? or i dun see a value? that i do not noe yet but what i noe is im thinking negatively that study sucks ... we r actually making a mind-block in our head telling ..." We Cant Study" tts wat we tell our brain..tts y when i try studying it will say "You cant study.Study sucks" ....isnt that how we feel? ..... well for sure i noe studying ...many of us hate it ...but do u see a eternal purpose in it? glorifying God? not being a beggar after we have grown up n beg money from ppl....would u want 2 hear tis from them saying "wow..serve God.Go church,read bible,lead people,be like 'holy',still kena like tat arh...i thank God himself that i am not a christian n end up like him.If i were u,i would have put my time into studies.2 bad for u Son of God" ......it may not be exactly what i said...but think about it ... i think if i kena such circumstances....i would be worst den a non-believer...
so yup...im changing my focus of thinking now ... when i see books i will think "i do tis for my future.to glorify God.n 2 earn big bucks so that i can enjoy n drink n smoke n drugs n clubbing....." i got my motivation from God to do tis ...where u get urs where u serve God?
11:03 PM
I never will leave You ~
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