God...it was first the quanity...now the quality....haiz...god ur so funny...ur ways i dun understand...y r u trying 2 do God...tell me what is that 'thing' that i lack...wat is it???it isnt obvious...not by sight...its hidden...revealed it to me God...as my group is growing in quanity....there isnt much quality...have many hard sheeps which i wont mention but atleast more den half...r veri hard 2 train up wif...God...what do u want me 2 do....i have given my all...n its been so long....r u growing my patient...or do i have 2 wait longer? Im so tired lord...fights,problems.... sins after sins...mega disobedience....haiz....its REALLY a everyday thing....my life has not been smooth-sailing n i know its not what u promise...i dun even feel accomplised yet...all the ppl in my group is either i bring or sisters bring or other brothers bring...not my own group bring....God...WHAT AM I LACKING!!! or what do u really want me 2 do? have i not been growing? y arent my group growing wif me? y arent they really wif me....i never say taking my sheep was a burden...they r really veri painful for me 2 take care of them but the joy that You gave me for taking care of them...neva will i trade them away....coz...im soft-hearted towards ppl...n i cant bear the things they think is a small thing...but i take it veri seriously...coz im sensitve towards ppl...so God....y...y am i going so much hardship n not seeing anything accomplished for 7MONTHS!!!!how long morE!!!but god...ill remain faithful no matter wat...ill cling onto ur word still...im grateful o lord...i will still wait...wait till...till my heart stops yearning for u...all i need 2 do...ill do it...the rest how it comes or dos...its all ur planning n ur will o Lord...let it happen den.....argh!!! my bro just disobeyed again.......GOd....my heart is full of pain...n sadness..im crying lord.!!! lift me up ..................i cant stand it over n over again....but in the bible u said that u wont tempt me beyond wat i can bear coz ur faithful......God...y...y do i moved into tears filled wif sadness(controlling emotions) n guess wat....my brother is trying 2 read what im writing...so i ask him 2 move away...he says "u cant use ur shepherd title for me 2 obey u in our house"............------------stressout sathya----really stressed out sathya....